U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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