It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
