it was like his penis was on wheels.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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