I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
