We're like a lot better than the average bears
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
