i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
