Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
