oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
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