is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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