try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
