I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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