Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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