I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize