idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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