don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
