So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
