the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
