im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
