i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
