I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
