dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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