"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
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