Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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