He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
