I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i think i have two assholes
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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