Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
