you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Me too!
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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