you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize
