I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
My breasts were aching with rage.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
