Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
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