New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Semen is not good for contacts.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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