yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
