I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
