oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
