writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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