Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
