I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
