just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
