Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
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