id be glad to
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
i drank out of a bidet.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
