dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
