Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
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