Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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