If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
