You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
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Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
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Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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