We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
