OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
