I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
