The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
