no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Randomize
