if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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