ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
