omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
please come you make the beer taste better
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
