You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize