Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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