she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
