My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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