My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
When did angry sex become our thing?
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
